You've tried to fix it...
The same fight keeps coming back...
Goodfellow Therapy
If something has to change — or you're not sure you can keep going — you're in the right place.
Somatic, depth-based coaching for couples and individuals in crisis, rupture, or discernment.
As seen on TEDx · 18+ Years Experience · BA Psychology, UBC
You're in the right place if...
— You keep having the same fight and nothing ever fully resolves
—The closeness is gone, and you're not sure how to find your way back to each other
— You've tried couples therapy, but it stayed on the surface — or you hit a ceiling
— One of you is already saying 'I'm done,' and the other isn't ready to let go
— You feel more alone inside this relationship than you would outside it
— You know something from your past is driving your reactions, but you can't stop it
— You want to understand the root of the pattern, not just manage the symptoms
— Or you're not sure whether to stay or go — and you need a safe place to find outThis work is for people who are done with surface-level fixes. Whether you want to save the relationship, understand yourself better, or find clarity on what comes next — we start with what's actually happening, not just what you can talk about.
What clients say
The Clearing - As Seen on TEDx Stage
A Journey From Grief to Forgiveness
The Clearing describes both the process of emotional clearing between two people, and the expansiveness of reaching a clearing in a forest, a place where light shines through into a dark place. It explores, through dance and embodied expression, the journey from grief to empathy, from rage and betrayal to forgiveness. Somatic processing and using movement to release emotion is one of the foundations of our practice together.
Why other approaches didn’t work — and what’s different here
Most couples therapy keeps you in your heads. This work goes underneath.If you’ve already done therapy — and you still keep hitting the same wall — it’s not because you didn’t try hard
enough. It’s because most approaches work at the level of behaviour and communication, without touching what’s
driving it.
Underneath every conflict loop is a nervous system doing its best to protect you. Underneath every withdrawal is an
early wound that never got witnessed. When we get to that layer, things actually shift.The work moves through four phases, in sequence. Each one builds on the last.ROOTS | Regulate and OrientBefore anything else, we lower the temperature.
We start by helping your nervous system find enough safety to be present. You learn to notice the moment
activation starts, interrupt escalation before it takes over, and return to your body. We also look at your origin story
as a couple — why you chose each other, what brought you here, and what that still means.
This isn’t just warm-up. A regulated nervous system is the only place real intimacy can live.RELATE | Rebuild Communication SafetyYou’ll learn to have the conversations you’ve been avoiding.
We build the ground rules and skills that make hard talks safer. How to name what you need without attack. How to listen without armouring. How to stay in the room when it gets uncomfortable. This is not communication scripts — it’s
something that actually changes how you speak to each other.REPAIR | Find the RootHere we find what’s actually driving the loop. We look at your triggers, your family patterns, the inner child needs underneath your reactions. You’ll receive education in Polyvagal theory and learn somatic practices for sharing emotional states and holding space for each other. This is where the real work happens.BRAVE | Deepen into IntimacyThis is the part that makes it worth all the hard work.
For couples who have moved through the crisis and are ready to go deeper: guided sessions in Transformative Listening, shadow work, witnessed play dyads. Connection that is honest, embodied, and alive. This is where you stop managing the relationship and start actually living in it.What You Can Expect to GainBy the time we’re done, couples typically experience:— Less escalation, and faster repair when rupture does happen
— A shared language for needs, limits, and agreements
— More emotional safety in difficult conversations
— A real understanding of what drives the pattern — and what to do when it fires
— More secure connection that doesn't depend on over-giving or monitoring
— Clarity — whether that means choosing the relationship fully, or leaving it with integrityIndividuals• Greater awareness of your narratives and blind spots
• Increased toolkit for self-regulation and life-skill management
• Deeper relationship with self
• Reframing of the stories that keep you stuck
How We Work Together
My primary area of focus is working to support partnerships in crisis or rupture.Intimacy grows when the nervous system feels safe, but often the road to true intimacy is fraught with blind spots, coping mechanisms, and personal narratives. I support you in moving from coping strategies that get in your way, to courageous self-exposure, and values-based discernment, where you can choose your relationship as your full, accepted self. I also coach couples, individuals, and polycules in active listening and space-holding techniques which are the requisite for true intimacy.My main method of working with couples is through the Transformative Listening Technique, which is a process that couples can bring home to use with one another, even without external guidance. We use this in session, and I teach you how to use it with one another, for increased emotional expression, witnessing, closeness, and healing.If you are an individual seeking more general support sessions, feel free to book a Discovery Call, and we can discuss the ways in which I can support you!You don’t have to do it alone. I’ve got you. This is Brave Work.
Hi, I'm Meris
I am a relationship coach who supports couples through periods of discernment--the "are we, aren't we?" moment that many partnerships reach. This is a normal, and not-uncommon place to find yourself. I help you develop tools to navigate this sensitive time, and find clarity. I have developed an extensive toolkit over the course of my life, and I am excited to share it with you, in hopes of deepening the intimacy and courage you share in your partnership.My journey is one of recognizing that I carry the weight of my ancestral stories, and that it is my responsibility to metabolize my family's pain so that I do not pass it on to my children, partners, and community. In taking responsibility for these stories--stories that I know I had no choice in--I have spent a lifetime working deeply with myself, discovering and studying the many pathways of meeting my own grief, fear, rage, and joy. As with many of us who sit with our own heavy stories, I have found myself called to sit with others in their shadows. I have spent over 18 years in mental health support work, working with individuals living with significant traumas and life struggles, I have endeavoured to become a student and a helper in transmuting the pain of the human condition, be it through movement, speech, totality of emotional expression, or presence.I work with couples and individuals using a technique called Transformative Listening. Through recognizing that so many of our unhelpful patterns stem from early life moments where our natural emotional rhythms were shut down by caregivers or circumstance, we seek to allow those early wounds a place to have their moment, witnessed by a loving presence, and in doing so, these stuck early needs loosen their hold on our present-day reactions.Above all, I seek to witness and compassionately validate the experience of every human I encounter, as a fellow person running this path alongside you, reminding you that you aren't alone.
Certifications and Credentials• 18 plus years as an addictions and mental health support worker
• BA in Psychology (UBC)
• 20 years as a Transformative Listening practitioner
• 17 years developing somatic and play-based emotive skills through Clown and Biokinetic Release
• 15 years in group conflict mediation and facilitation
• Training in Polyvagal theory, EFT, IFS, and clinical psychology-informed approaches
• Poly and kink literate with a trauma informed lens
•Neurodiverse and able to offer accommodations and coaching in life-skills and general coping strategies for ADHD/AuDHD
• LGBTQIA2S+ plus aligned and affirming
I've got you!
We'll do this together
Get in touch
For all other inquiries
© Goodfellowtherapy. All rights reserved.